Sex and Dating

Three Ways of the Tao to Help You From Going Limp

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Three Ways of the Tao to Help You From Going Limp If women ever wonder why men seem so stupid, it’s because we have to divide our mental capacity between two different heads. One sits on the top of the neck and the other lies uncomfortably inside our Calvin Klein underwear.

Both the little, and big, heads have something in common. Neither of them do what they are told. Well not all of the time anyway. Take meditation for example. You sit quietly trying to force all thoughts away from your mind, yet your head just won’t shut the fuck up. The harder you apply the hand around the mouth, the more noise seemingly reverberates around your empty shell. The same is often true of the little head. How many times have you sat in the doctors waiting room, awaiting a physical examination, only to find that you have a hard on that would give Dirk Diggler a run for his money? Likewise, there are millions of people worldwide who just can’t seem to rise to the occasion when it matters most – in the bedroom.

For all of those people who are struggling to get an erection in the face of extreme female sexual peer pressure, then the Tao of Sexology by Dr. Stephen T. Chang may hold some hope for you. Here are some Taoist tips on how you can reduce the likelihood of limp and increase the hardness of wood.

#1 Make it Bigger & Better

Ok, having a bigger penis doesn’t necessarily mean that it will stand to attention when the sergeant major comes calling, but who the hell cares? When men parade around the changing rooms of the gyms, swimming pools and sporting halls around the world they don’t want an erection. They just want the biggest, fattest semi-hard cock in the room. But seriously, if you think that you have a big penis then you are less likely to suffer from stress when it comes to trying to gain an erection.

The Tao of Sexology suggests that a man’s penis never stops growing. Although determined at birth, the size and shape can be improved upon, and this is despite the rest of the body refusing to grow after the age of 30. So theoretically the older you get the bigger you get, and one of the ways that it increases in size is through the constant groping and squeezing that is done after you have urinated (amongst other stretching and squeezing type things you do with your old boy).

The Tao believes there are two main penis shapes: mushroom and pencil shaped. It is suggested that size doesn’t matter to women, but shape most certainly does. If you want to hear moans of the sexual nature instead of the groans of the nagging sense, then you had better have a mushroom shaped nob, as it is better shaped to massage the side of the vagina and G point thoroughly.

(a) Milk the Penis

By regularly grabbing the shaft and squeezing towards the glans (bell-end), you are forcing blood to the head of the penis and this lengthens the shaft and creates a bigger and more vagina accommodating mushroom shape.

(b) Squeeze the Penis

If you squeeze your penile shaft until it gets hard, and then release and squeeze, over a length of time, it will increase the quality of your erections. After a while sit down on a chair with your legs apart, and holding your penis at the base, flop it from side-to-side making sure to slap the head against each thigh. This will strengthen the head of your penis. But for Christ sakes don’t go whacking it likes it a hammer hitting a nail.

#2 The Deer Exercise

The deer exercise was introduced after Taoist sages noticed that the deer was not only noted for its longevity, but its strong sexual and reproductive abilities. Upon observation the Taoists noticed that the deer exercised its anus whilst shaking its tail, and the deer exercise for humans was born.

It is believed that the deer exercise achieves four important objectives.

1. It strengthens and builds the tissues of the sexual organs.

2. It draws up energy through six of the seven glands of the body into the pineal gland to elevate spirituality.

3. The exercise produces movement of energy through the glands of the body. If the energy doesn’t reach the head then there is a blockage in the body at one of these important points. It is therefore an exercise of self-determination.

4. It strengthens your ability to perform sexually. Making your sexual experiences last longer.

The exercise can be done standing, sitting or just lying down. The main point is to be as comfortable as possible. The exercise is then broken down into two distinct stages.

Stage One – Semen Production

1. Rub the palms of your hands together vigorously in order to create heat.

2. Put your testicles in your right hand, being careful not to squeeze.

3. Place the palm of your left hand on the area of your pubis. This is the area roughly an inch below your belly button.

4. Applying a slight pressure to your pubis, begin to make circular motions, either clockwise or anti clockwise, for 81-motions.

5. Rub your hands together to generate more heat.

6. Now exchange hands and follow the same five points above.

It’s important that you approach the exercise from a mental perspective as well as a physical one. It’s best to close your eyes and really concentrate hard on the physical motions you are enacting.

Stage Two

1. Tighten your anus muscles as hard as you can and hold the pose for as long as you are able to do so comfortably.

2. Stop and relax.

3. Repeat process one as often as you can.

Whilst completing the second stage it is advised to concentrate on a tingling sensation similar to a small electric shock that ascends along the pathway of the seven glands.

Over time you can test if the exercises are being effective by trying to stop your urination mid flow purely through anal contractions. If you are able to do this then the exercises are working fine.

#3 Prostate Massage

Impotence is generally a psychological problem or a physical problem. Most of the physical problems stem from prostate failure, and this is more likely to occur the older you become. Therefore if you want to reduce the likelihood of a loss of erection then it makes sense to keep your prostate strong and healthy, and this is where prostate massages come in handy. Suck it in boys, because it’s time to put that finger up the arse!

Before you massage your prostate gland it’s a good tip to make sure your anus is clean. In fact, you should learn to clean your anus properly after defecation because lingering feces will introduce disease into the prostate as well as a poo stained finger!

After you have finished wiping the external area of the anus, you should put some toilet tissue, or hygienic wipe on your finger, insert it into your anus and swirl it around to clean the remaining feces.

Once your anus is clean you will need some lubricant in order to carry out the prostate massage. Ensure to choose a lubricant that contains natural ingredients as some ingredients contain well-known cancer causing agents.

Apply the lube and insert your finger into your anus – going in from the penis side – and reach back and upwards towards the navel until you feel the prostate gland. Then rub backwards and forwards, without causing pain, in a massage motion.

If you have an open-minded partner, then it’s often best to ask them to do the job for you. I will let you use your own imagination when it comes to what to do with their spare hand.

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